Put the Past Behind II: Tatooine part 2

By Season Irwin and Ginna Wilcoxen


Date: Friday, October 12, 2001 12:10 AM


"We continue forward," Luke answered. "But to do so, we need to leave the 
past behind." He smiled kindly at her.
Octavia fell silent, thinking on Luke's words. "And to be honest about what 
we feel," she replied. "I don't want to fail."

Luke nodded as they settled down to have a bit of breakfast.  Then, giving 
Octavia the coordinates to put into the speeder, they took off.

"These coordinates are different.  We're not going back to the farm?" 

"No, we don't need to stay there any longer. Things seem quiet in the Force 
in relation to us and those people in the cafe. Nonetheless…"  Luke used the 
macrobinoculars occasionally to scan the horizons as they zipped along over 
the sands of Tatooine's vast desert. 

"So this is the way to Ben's, your master's place?" 

"Yes." Luke replied. To Octavia he seemed a little bit withdrawn.

"Master Skywalker, you seem quiet, is anything wrong?" Octavia's tone took on 
a serious note. 
"I was just wondering why you decided to go out last night," he said. 

Octavia stared at the sand that laid out before them. "I...I felt closed 
in...and the dreams ....I had to get out to get away. I walked around but 
after a while even that seemed to closing around me." 

Luke was silent for many long moments. "Dreams," he murmured. "We need to 
deal with those dreams and help you distinguish them from reality.  We will 
do that this afternoon, right after we get to Ben's." 

"Is there a way to do that...I mean to be totally sure?" Octavia questioned 
not knowing how to take his suggestion.

"Yes, we can help you distinguish them from one another. But it will take 
some concerted effort." Luke mused for a few seconds more, touching his lips 
with the back of his hand. 

"I will try...I still remember the arena like it was yesterday, maybe because 
I relived it so much."

For once Luke resisted the compulsion to repeat what Yoda had said to him 
during his own training on Dagobah so many years ago.  He blinked ahead of 
himself, not seeing the desert landscape for a few moments. "Yes. I 
understand that. So do I." 

"You…sound...your voice has regret." 

"My circumstances with the opponent I fought against was most...challenging 
for me. It shook the very foundations of what I believe in as a Jedi Master." 
Luke stared straight ahead, not looking at her. 

"I'm sorry for you. That must be difficult for you to come to terms with " 
Octavia stated her voice soft and non-judgmental. 

To Octavia's surprise, Luke answered quickly, "Yes, it was. I had been forced 
to kill, and my opponent literally threw herself on my sword. I am not sure I 
can ever forget it. No one has been able to capture and control me as Jedi 
like that since I became a Master.  No one nor any situation." 

Octavia nodded in understanding. "I am sorry for you Master Skywalker, I know 
how I feel and the feelings you are experiencing must be worse."

"No," he answered gently, "Not worse. Your feelings are as important as 
anyone else's. Don't minimize them. What you need to be able to do is to put 
them into some sort of perspective instead of just feeling them. You can make 
your feelings go to work for you, not against you. That is what I am working 
towards for myself in my own feelings and memories of that event." 

"I thought I had until Palpatine." Octavia answered firmly. "If nothing else 
she made me realize just how close I hold my first kill to heart, and how 
protected I was with the Electra."

"What we both experienced is as close to a senseless killings as imaginable. 
My greatest regret is that I did not come to a solution and an escape sooner 
for us all." Luke helped her correct the coordinates, as they had been 
drifting off course due to the heavy conversation. "If you can possibly do 
it, begin to forget the Palpatine's. And think on the Force. I know that 
sounds like a strange thing to do, but focus is what we both need." 

"Then we will help each other Master." Octavia answered trying to forget the 
Emperor and Raven's own statements that she wanted to learn the light side of 
the Force, then there was Medenna...how was she doing back on Yavin?

"You are the one distracted now," Luke observed when Octavia didn't answer. 
Luke continued. "If I may admonish you for the time being to focus on the 
here and now, I would like to do so." 

"Of course, I should stay focused." Octavia smiled. It was that exact thought 
that kept her from going crazy while in the VR tanks.

Luke smiled kindly at her in return, but remained silent.

"What is Ben's place like?" Octavia questioned at last not liking the silence 
for some reason.

"Lonely. Small. Perfect to serve our purposes." 

"Out of the way and away from everything." Octavia mused

"Mostly, at a place where you can fight your demons and have time to finish 
them off." Luke looked at her, wondering what her response would be. 

"IF it was that easy." Octavia replied staring out ahead at the never-ending 
horizon of sand. She wondered if she even knew what her demons were anymore. 
How did you fight something that wasn't real and just in your mind? "I'm 
sorry, that was uncalled for..."

"Stating your opinions of your own personal situation is your prerogative, my 
friend. Nothing to apologize for.  And anything is possible with the Force as 
your ally." 

"Yes, I have to remember that."

A little later, Luke pointed out the rise before Ben's place. They pulled in 
and shut down the speeder. There was only a small shelter in which to store 
it. 

"It is small." Octavia commented softly looking at the place.  It didn't look 
like a home of Jedi, let alone a Master.

Luke stood for a moment and then hiked back up to the rise to peer through 
his macrobinoculars. Octavia watched him, then glanced around the place. It 
felt different than Luke's homestead; there was a strange sense of peace 
here. Turning, she walked toward Luke. "Were we followed?"

Shuffling back down again over the dune, Luke put away his macros and 
gestured toward the domed house. "No, there is nothing in sight. I would like 
for you to take a moment and judge for your self though the Force before we 
go inside." 

Octavia looked out over the never-ending sea of sand and relaxed, letting the 
Force envelop her as she sensed their surroundings. "Nothing but us...there 
are some Sandpeople in the distance, but they aren't heading this way."

"Good," he said, starting toward the house. "Come on, let's see about the 
vaporator first." 

It was in need of repair and adjusting. They worked in silence, paying 
attention to the task at hand. 
Finally,, when they were done, Octavia questioned, dusting the sand off her 
hands, "When was the last time you were here?" 
Luke took in a deep breath and let it out. He opened the lock and entered 
first. "Many years ago. When I made my light saber." 

"Was it difficult to do...make the saber, I mean?"

He looked around and then palmed the generator. When it did not function, he 
shook his head. "It's funny how once it is time for you to make your own 
saber, you know just what to do and what parts you need. Especially after 
caring for and using the first borrowed or gifted one." Luke looked around in 
a low cupboard and found a fat old candle. The interior was dark and had no 
windows.

Octavia stared into the darkness and thought back to how many times she had 
come close to losing the saber she now possessed. There would come a time to 
leave it behind, she knew, but for now it was hers. "The generator needs to 
be looked at.  If it's been a while it could need new parts."

"That's all right," Luke replied, "I'd like a chance at using some primitive 
lighting for a change of pace." He reached into his pouch and produced a 
sparking device to light the candle. "We can work on it in the morning." 

"All right, you know what is best," Octavia agreed, enjoying the light from 
the candle. It seemed to fit the dwelling.

"For now I was hoping to get right into teaching you how to tell the dreams 
apart from memories or reality. Then we can make supper." 

Octavia became a little uneasy at that suggestion, but pushed any negative 
thoughts away. "Sounds like a place to start."

TBC


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