Confessions In Red

By Courtney Craft and Dora Furlong


No longer dressed in white, Psylocke walked down the
hall on the fifth level of Port Lansing station.  She
looked more like herself now. problem. 
Yes, that was the problem muddling her mind tonight. 
She approached the door to Lady Darana's room, pressed
the call button and waited.


Psylocke entered.  "Good evening, Lady Darana."

Darana turns, "Psylocke!" She exclaimed, slightly
surprised. "What can I do for you at this late hour?"

"My apologies for disturbing you so late, but I needed
to speak with you."  She wrung her hands slightly,
then forcibly stopped.

Darana exhaled slowly and straightened her uniform
tunic. "What troubles you?"  She moved over to a couch
and motioned Psylocke to join her. "Please sit."

Psylocke walked over to the couch and sat.  She paused
for a moment and let out a nervous breath.  Then she
looked Darana in the eye and said, "I'm here to
request your permission to resign from the Red Guard."

Darana cocked her head. " tell me why you
are trying to resign."

"I don't feel right guarding the Emperor anymore. 
It's not that I don't have faith or loyalty for the
Empire, but I'm starting to doubt my personal faith in

Darana raised an eyebrow. "What you speak could be
considered treason."

Psylocke paled slightly, then nodded.  "I know. 
Believe me I know.  That's why I want to retire from
the Imperial military.  Lead a civilian life.  I want
the Empire to thrive and unite the galaxy, but I just
don't feel right being a part of the government right
now."  She stopped a moment to take in Darana's
reaction. "It's not like I want to join the Alliance
or anything," she quickly added.

"Your personal feelings have nothing to do with His
Majesty's plans for you." She started to grow
apprehensive. "Really now? You don't want to join the
Alliance." She then added very slowly, "Why bring up
such a concern to my attention?"

"You mentioned treason."  Psylocke replied matter of
factly.  "I didn't want you to get the wrong idea."

Darana nodded. "One does not have to join the Alliance
to be accused of treason."

Psylocke grimaced.  "I see.  Do you really think my
wanting to retire from the military is an act of

"No, I do not believe that I believe that
your...apprehensions could be construed that way...but
tell me...what has brought this sudden change of your
mindset about?"

Psylocke sighed, her hands growing cold with
nervousness.  She was really hoping that she wouldn't
have to mention it, but deep down she knew she had to.
 "I don't remember if you were there last year during
my...embarrassing scene in the throne room.  I
realized that His Majesty couldn't give me what I
truly wanted."  She blushes slightly.  "I was ready to
walk out on it all then."  She paused for a moment,
considering her words.  "Tonight...and I hope you
don't get mad, though I'm sure you will...the Jedi
were able to give me what I wanted.  Something His
Majesty could never give me."  She looked away.

Darana sat still there briefly, considering Psylocke's
words. "What is it that they gave you that you want?"

Psylocke chuckled slightly.  "Unconditional love." 
She chuckled more at the ridiculous nature of her
words.  "I know, it sounds crazy coming from a Sith
apprentice, doesn't it?  Especially me.  I was so
driven on the thought that a Sith couldn't love to be
truly in touch with the dark side.  For me, this was
true.  As soon as I pushed Lon out of my life, I could
feel the darkness stream through me.  Yet...I still
felt regret for what I did to him.  I could never
bring myself to hate him.  And the other Jedi, they
refused to call me their enemy.  I tried to kill them
all and they still offered me friendship."  She could
feel her stomach churning by then.

"Psylocke..." Darana's voice held a neutral edge, "did
you swear loyalty and absolute obedience to the
Emperor?" she asked studying Psylocke's actions very

"I did...that's the problem."  She blurted out.  "I
don't want to disobey the Empire or His Majesty, but I
can't help what I feel.  I don't think I can trust
myself right now, and the last thing I want is to
bring harm to him."

Darana nodded again. "It is not my place to accept or
decline your resignation, it is up to OUR Master to do
that." She paused.  "You have done the right thing."
And Darana heard herself teaching in the reeducation
camps, thought is as bad as action. "However, you will
have to face His Majesty. Until then I am placing you
in protective custody....should these Jedi have any
notions about where your loyalties 'should'
lay.....know this Psylocke, if you do ever betray the
Emperor, I will hunt you down personally." She
stopped.  "However, you are holding true to your word
so I doubt you will ever do such a thing." She smiled
at Psylocke.

Psylocke was more taken aback by Darana's smile than
her threat.  She nodded in return.  "I understand.  I
want what's best for the Empire.  I'm just not in a
state to deliver that right now."

"It is better to find these things now and learn to
deal with them." Darana stood and called for several
Red Guards to escort Psylocke to her quarters.
The guards arrived quickly and Psylocke stood to meet
them.  "I'll speak with His Majesty shortly.  Thank
you for listening."

Darana nodded for the last time, knowing well enough
that Psylocke was in for a rough lesson from the
Emperor's hands.  "The Force be with you, Psylocke

Psylocke pulled her eyes away from Darana and followed
the Red Guards out.

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