Psylocke's Journal:Entry two

Courtney Kraft

The next three entries cover what happened at Media. I'm working on the sixth 
entry now, and I hope to post two more tomorrow.

Entry Two
No story ever starts at the beginning. Mine is no exception. My life was 
turned upside down almost a year ago. This journal merely starts after a plot 
point. I wish to make a note in this entry of recent events, mostly so I 
don't forget.
The insanity started at Port Lansing a few days ago. Maybe it was over a 
week, I'm not sure how much time has passed exactly. My master holds court 
there annually. Having a public session allows for Imperial citizens and 
non-citizens to take care of business in a slightly "safer" environment than 
the Coruscant palace. It was at this session where the trouble started.
I was in my Red Guard uniform, doing my duty to protect to protect His 
Majesty and the Empress. And if you ask me, the Empire seriously needs to 
rethink those helmets. It's no wonder the Red Guard gets such a bad wrap. We 
can't see a damn thing in those helmets! Let alone breathe!
But I digress.
The first people to appear in court were Tara and Topaz. I met them a few 
months ago after the Tattooine battles. Part of me wasn't surprised to see 
them. Tara is the adopted daughter of Princess Anelis after all. Then I saw 
that Tara had brought Lon with her. I didn't move or say anything, knowing 
that they wouldn't recognize in uniform. My heart was pounding. I was 
actually scared for him. For Lon. My master approached him, forcing him to 
his knees.
It was then that I realized we had been set up. My master knew the whole 
time about my relationship with Lon. I was foolish to think I could hide 
anything from him.
I had to intervene and quickly. I removed my helmet and confronted my 
master. He only slammed Lon against the far wall in response. I begged him 
to stop, but he wanted to continue torturing Lon. I couldn't stand it any 
longer. I grabbed Lon by the wrist and dragged him out of there. My master 
let us go. He could have stopped us with a thought, but he didn't.
Lon and I ran for a while. I had to get him someplace safe. Something had 
occurred to me back there. I stopped him at a corner that hid us from 
security cameras. Then..I broke up with him. I hated doing it. I couldn't 
even look at him. I hated myself for hurting him.
But I knew it was for the better. I understood that Lon and I couldn't 
continue our relationship the way things were going. I understood what my 
master meant when he said Lon was in the way. Lon was my light. He was the 
one truly positive influence in my life, but I had to let go. He was blocking 
my connection to the dark side. If I was to become a Sith, then I would have 
to let him go.
But just because I broke up with him didn't mean I was ready to fully let go 
though, but he was gone. Lon was out of my life.
I returned to court. I wanted to let my master know that I wasn't going to 
betray the Empire..and that I was safe. There's something else. Something 
else I realized. I finally figured out what it was I wanted all my life. I 
just wanted to be loved..for who I was. I knew that Lon couldn't give that to 
me. I knew that I loved him, but I will never know if he loved me as well. 
It doesn't matter know.
I'm tired. I'll write more tomorrow. I'm feeling a little better, but the 
medics insist that I lay low for another week. I want to get back to my 
training soon, but my master agrees with the medics. So I shall wait.

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