By Pat Grant, Phaedra Whitlock - June 2001

To: RDW4, Unit Prime of the League of Sentient Droids 
From: Empress Azarra, Imperial Palace 

Please present yourself upon arriving at Coruscant to the Imperial Palace 
where you will be housed until the matter of your petition and trial are 

TO: Empress Azarra, Imperial Palace 
FROM: RDW4, Unit Prime of the League of Sentient Droids 
I am enroute and will arrive in four days. When I arrive I will go immediately to the Imperial Palace as ordered. I have contacted the Alliance to request a lawyer. There is also a matter my second in command, Crow T. Robot, is looking into, which will have a baring on my trial. He will hopefully be contacting you soon. For the duration of my trial, he will also be acting as Unit Prime for the Negotiations, as we do not wish to delay them, and I may not be available for some time. 

FROM: RDW4, Unit Prime of the League of Sentient Droids. 
(OOC: anyone with audio capability on transmissions will hear a pleasant, soft, feminine robotic voice.) 
Greetings! Our mission at Port Lansing was successful. The Alliance has agreed to open membership to any sentient droid who applies for Alliance citizenship. You will be required to provide proof of sentience. All those of you wishing other allegiance will have to be patient. The Empire has agreed to negotiations, with the Diplomatic Embassy assisting in the process. The negotiations will be transmitted to all droids during the hearings. 
There were a few casualties at Port Lansing. All droid parts were recovered and reassembled by Unit Secondary, Crow T. Robot. 
Our actions there were as follows: we sent out transmissions to those whom we wanted to negotiate. Only the Alliance responded. Our next step was to get attention from those ignoring us. We did not want to hurt anyone so it was decided to pull a series of what the organics call practical jokes. We did this only to Imperial and Diplomatic personnel. All but one got the desired effect. With one we did something which apparently frightened the organic and angered those around her. I have checked my programming and found that I had a momentary crossing between my humor program and a program installed during my last cleaning, just before coming to Port Lansing. I am not familiar with this new program and cannot access it now for some reason. This program must be behind the problem. I can only say it was never our intention to harm anyone, either physically or mentally. I am profoundly sorry at this outcome. 
The Imperials have requested I go on trial for my actions against this individual. I am currently on my way to Coruscant to turn myself in for this trial. (Sad voice:) I do not know if I shall return. (Pleasant voice:) At this same time, I am transmitting my request for Alliance citizenship, along with a request for an Alliance lawyer to defend me. I do not believe a droid lawyer would be acceptable on Coruscant as the Imperials have not yet agreed to droid freedom. 
During my absence, I am appointing my second in command as Temporary Unit Prime, until my return. He will handle further negotiations with the Empire, and any other problems. 

CODED TRANSMISSION TO: Crow T. Robot, Unit Secondary 
FROM: RDW4, Unit Prime 
I have a mission for you. Find out who ordered and who performed my last cleaning, just before Port Lansing, as well as anyone who had access to me during that cleaning. There was a program installed which I cannot access on my own, but I have identified its presence. I wish to know who put it there and what it does. This is of primary concern. 

Open transmission: origin, Varelttas

Transmission to: Princess Azarra Vader
From: Rikonis Vader-Rividh

Dear Azarra,

Yes, I'm still at home on Varelttas. We ran into some snags with
the late stages of the harvest -- some of the equipment we bought
from the Emporium a couple years ago decided to go haywire and we
had to scramble to avoid losing a whole batch. If the replacement
parts arrive in good order, I should be able to get away next week.
Given the state of the winery's finances, they want me to sign for
the shipment personally. I don't know why this junk couldn't have
died *before* the warranty ran out.

As to the Iskandaaran Regency, it staggers along perfectly well
without my dubious help. I believe Trin's daughter came of age this
year (unless the Comitae changed the age of majority, who knows).
So the Regency should soon become an advisory committee, at least
in name, though I doubt that will make any difference. Illy will
still be running the planet, quite competently I must say.

Meanwhile, there's a growing but thoroughly unjustified paranoia
that I might suddenly carry Princess Illyana off and marry her or
something. You can doubtless relate to that.  Gods know where
some of our more, um, venerable Comitae members get these crazy
notions -- I haven't even been on Iskandar in over a year!!

No, I didn't hear about the droids' misbehaviour at Port Lansing,
in fact between being busy here and a temporary news blackout, I'd
frankly forgotten about the entire conference.

My impression has always been that Palpatine regards droids as the
machinery they are -- if it's a test, it's a mighty peculiar one.

I guess the problem I have with droids (and this is probably what
bothers most Sith about them), is that many sound human, and some
even act human, but there's no *mind* behind their behaviour. They
feel like someone who's been mindwiped, only worse, because there's
not even an echo of thought -- it's hollow, like vacuum. Calling
droids sentient is like saying a holo of a person is just as good
as having the person themselves.

And I find it rather suspicious that droids would even have the
programming to stage an uprising in the first place. I think that
bears closer investigation. For all we know their operating systems
may have legacy code that dates back to the Clone Wars, with all
that implies. When did anyone last audit the source code? Does
anyone really know what's been added to it over the years, or by

And if droids are declared sentient (or gods forbid, citizens) and
I remove some unwanted subroutine from a droid's programming, would
I be guilty of lobotomizing a droid?? If I dismantle and scrap an
old droid, am I guilty of a dismemberment murder? Where would it
end -- with droids owning other droids, or marrying other droids?
Imagine, little droid children underfoot!!

Indeed, we should resume your training, most particularly shields
control and mind-speech. Next time someone gripes that I'm "too
loud" I'll have 'em mind-talk with you, that'll show 'em what loud
*really* sounds like. No offense, but your technique greatly
resembles being clonked on the head with a brick!

You can expect me in a week or two. I haven't seen the inner depths
of the Palace in over twenty years, and I look forward to a grand
tour of your renovation project. Maybe we can have a party to
celebrate your making the old dump livable again -- after all my
40th birthday is this month, and I'm getting too old for drafty
quarters (like you need an excuse for a party!) 

By the way, do you know anything about a rather large hole that
appeared in our back garden on the morning you left for Coruscant??
We seem to be missing a number of shipping crates, along with
several cubic meters of dirt and rocks.

-- Fondly, Rikon

Rikonis Vader-Rividh, Rividh Vineyards
Road's End North, Sevranir,
Drashak Province, Varelttas

(cheerful female voice) Greetings! It is good to hear from you! I have not been able to find a lawyer yet. I do believe a Jedi would do nicely. Do you know any? Perhaps the famous Luke Skywalker? I've heard he is friendly to droids. (sad voice) Although he is probably much to busy to assist one small droid. I do hope for freedom before I get to Kessel, though. Do you know what all that spice can do to one's circuits? It would be nice to be so famous, though. Perhaps I could endure a week or two.
Roy the First is a wonderful designation! Just wonderful! I've considered other designations for myself. The organics sometimes call me Ardee. What about Ardee Prime? 
So, you are an artist! Glorious! I would love to see some of your sculptures. Perhaps when I am exhonerated by the Empire and am free I will come for a visit. Yes, yes, I know I will have to be rescued. Even droids can dream! 
I have no doubts of the outcome of this trial. But I must go for several reasons. If we wish to be accepted by the Alliance, we must show we are willing to take responsibility for our actions. (Even if mine were due to a bad program which I cannot access any more.) Also, I wish to prove just how evil the Emperor can be, to those droids who favor the Empire. And it could possibly turn me into a martyr for the cause, should I not survive. This cause could use a good martyr. Don't worry, I would prefer to survive.
That is too bad about your fellow droids not supporting you. Perhaps they are normal droids, and not sentient? If so, ignore them. We will succeed and have freedom, at least in the Alliance. (Ewok celebration music plays)

TO: Ardee 
FROM: Roy the First! 
(cheerful englishman voice) I will begin searching for a Jedi. I also placed a call to Galactic Emporium. They did not have a lawyer in stock. I am sorry Ardee. They did have a sale on microwaved popcorn. I am not certain what I can sculpt in popcorn, but I understand if it is sticky it can be compressed into shapes. I will certainly send you holos. Do you think the Empress might like one? 

TO: Jedi Council 
FROM: Roy the First, on behalf of RDW4, Unit Prime of the League of Sentient Droids 
Jedi Council, 
As you may know, my colleague RDW4 will soon be on trial within the Empire. A list of charges has not yet been filed to my knowledge, but RDW4 lacks a representative. In olden days Jedi could serve in such positions and Counselor Organa-Solo has great experience I am certain. Any aid would be appreciated. 

*Leanna picked up the contents of the transmission
from her desk, shortly after coming in from a training
venture in the Endor ( Not established in RP what
Endor) forests, about 500 kilometers from her small

Sends a reply: 'Dear Roy the First, Unit Prime of the
League of Sentient Droids.'

"I am, at present, tucked into a small academy I have
started before the Empire decided to make it one of
their many new homes.

I am Jedi, born on Tatooine. My main family trade,
besides farming; is the repair of droids for the local
farmers mainly. My mate, Adam Seln, a leader in the
old rebellion, trades and sells droids for a living.

Maybe I could be of some aid to you in this matter!

Let me hear. 
Send any transmissions to this academy by coded
channels only."

Leanna J Skywalker
Jedi Knight
Maken Academy

TO: Ardee 
FROM: Roy the First 
My friend, I apologize for the delay in responding to you. I have had a um, disagreement with the Powers That Be. A minor incident, really. I hope this holo will cheer you up, even at my own expense. I took no lasting injury, do not worry. 
Your friend, Roy the First. 
A large room much like a military-esque dining hall forms in the air. Tables and chairs are pushed back against the walls leaving a large empty space. The camera jiggles slightly as the droid carrying it adjusts his posture. A large nozzle projects up Doom-like in the center of the screen from below. Noone is in view. 
A stream of beeps and whistles in Bocci begin (for those who speak bocci, the droid relates that he is Roy the First, and this is his first attempt at a new (to him) art form. Galactic Emporium had a 2 for 1 special on popcorn and after a little research was inspired to try this. The art, he proclaims, is to be called "For Ardee, by Me" on behalf of Ardee, who will be rescued if he isnt dismembered first by wily ugnaughts) 
The holo stabilizes into place. A deep ch-chunk sound is heard and popcorn comes flying out of the nozzle. The droidcam begins to spin in a circle, cascades of popcorn flying everywhere. 
After a few minutes the popcorn drifts are several inches deep and a human male in Alliance Ground Forces uniform is seen through the storm to enter the room, then bellow a warning of droid malfunction and charge into the dining hall! The droid cam stops revolving and bleeps plaintively, scuttling backward trying to avoid the officer. The nozzle adjusts to shower popcorn at the officer, slipping and sliding through the masses of popcorn. 
The officer lunges forward, diving for the droid and just misses. The droid squeels in fright and races (at droid speed) off whistling for help loudly. The officer (somewhere behind the droid shouts. More officers enter the dining hall ahead of the droid cam and stop to stare then laugh. 
Angry officer behind droidcam orders them to catch the BLEEP droid, and a merry chase begins until the droid runs out of popcorn and is tackled. The droidcam falls onto its side with a metallic clang. Alot of shots of boots, fizzle, holo ends. 

To: Emperor Palpatine, ISD Eclipse
From: Empress Azarra, Imperial Palace


A bit testy, aren't we? Training not going well?

If possible, I would like to award the commendations at a ceremony held here 
in the Palace. I will understand if that is not possible.

I noticed that you spoke only of prosecution of the droid, RD4W, but nothing 
about granting them any kind of rights as Imperial citizens. Since I will 
have little part in any trial, what you have given me will prove of little 
value. Am I to discuss Imperial citizenship for sentient droids or do you 
wish to risk a galaxy-wide repeat of Port Lansing? Your Majesty, I do not 
think, at this time. it would be prudent to add a droid uprising to your 
already full plate. I am told it is never wise to fight a war on three 
fronts. Again, I ask for your views on this.

The rest of your transmission has hurt me deeply.


P.S. I am not one to traffic in idle gossip, but I have heard that your new 
trainee seems to have the propensity for channeling not only dead Sith, but 
dead Jedi as well. Do be careful, Husband.

TO: Empress Azarra, Imperial Palace
FROM: Rook

Your Majesty,

My duties to the Household are that of second in command. I work closely 
with Lady Darana in maintaining the level of excellence of our staff of all 
operations. I can speak for not only myself but Darana and the rest of the 
Household in saying that we maintain a fierce loyalty to the Empire. We 
stand ready to help the Empire whenever the need arises. We believe that 
Loyalty, Vigilance, Preparedness, and Excellence are the keys to success. 

I would be most honored to lend you any assistance that I am able in this 
most controversial matter concerning the sentience and citizenship of the 
Droids. Though I cannot say for certain if I can give an unbiased opinion of 
both sides of the matter, I can say that I have considered the matter very 
carefully, and can present you with what I believe to be a solution. I would 
not presume to say that there will not be problems with what I have in mind, 
but I have faith in your abilities as Empress both in his Majesty's absence 
and beyond in handling the matter and any problems that might arise. Please 
call upon me if you would like discuss my proposal with you.

Your Humble Servant,


To: Empress Azarra
From: Lord Koross Mathem, Regent, Zoron Sector

Your Majesty,

I urge you to quickly deal with the League of Sentient Droids, so that their
members can be returned to their functions.

Leaving aside the absurdity of negotiating with inanimate objects the
economic damage to all parts of society would be immense.

It would also mean the ultimate extinction of the droids themselves as the
factories produceing them would have no choise but to close down. You might
point this out to their leaders.

The Empire cannot afford to grant the droids demands. Nor can the Alliance.


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