Lessons Still to Learn (July 2003)pt 1

Patrick Furlong & Ginna Wilcoxen

Nyssa stared at the blank screen she had done as Knight Maruko had ordered, she had sent off her report to Master Caudell about the trip with the Padawans and it was just enough to be called a report. She doubted she would have gotten away with such gaps on Telos, but this wasn't Telos and Knight Maruko wasn't Lord Alderson. Yet there was something bothering her nagging at her finally picking up the brown outer robe she left her room to go and speak with Gar Rutile, she had went there before but he didn't answer she only hoped he was in now.

Standing before the door Nyssa knocked.

"Come in."

She opened the door. "Mr. Rutile ... Gar do you have a few moments?"

"Of course, come in"

"Thank you." Nyssa entered teh room and shut the door. "I came by earlier but you were gone." Nyssa took a seat. "How much of this outing were you aware of?"

"I was kept informed of what was happening as it was going on, or do you mean before hand?"

She shook her head. "I mean what was happening as it happened. " She let out a sigh. "I think I made an error in judgment."

He nodded, "Master Caudell seems to think so"

Nyssa frowned. "Knight Maruko thinks so as well."

"Why did you go off on your own?"

"Because those people padawans or not are dangerous especially to the life around them."

"You could have stayed and tried to make them see what they were doing wrong."

"My presence would have changed nothing Gar, they should all be dead, they could have outrun that slug why stay and taunt it?"

"But if you had tried to work with them the fault would be on them, and not you"

"MY fault?" she asked surprised. "I'm not responsible for them Gar. I have enough problems being responsible for myself."

"But in the Jedi view, you are responsible for them" he stated calmly.

"That's .... propitious." the woman spat.


"I'm not one of them, how can they expect that out of me?"

"They see you as one of them, at least for the time you're here."

"But I'm not." she rose and paced. "I'm me, just a person."

"But you're here, now, doing this thing, as they see it, that comes with certain obligations"

"I can't win no matter what I do."

"What makes you say that?"

"If I stayed and tried to talk to them or advise them, I'd wouldn't have been listened to they weren't even listening to someone they've trained with. If I lost my temper I would be called down for setting a bad example and sentenced to meditation for giving into baser emotions." Nyssa shook her head. "Though I'm still sentenced to that."

"But if you had talked to them, they had ignored you, and you had held you're temper, they would look bad, and you would have come out looking very good"

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