From Elfaddictone@aol.com Sat Feb  8 13:42:38 2003
Date: Mon, 17 Jun 2002 20:28:58 EDT
From: Elfaddictone@aol.com
To: cantina@deathstar.org
Subject: FoE Role-Play: Decisions - cont.

Decisions, cont.  by Pat Grant       

      Sidra sat in her room in the Palace, sulking.  It had only been two
days, but those two days had been full of worry, anger, frustration, and
regret. Those were too many emotions to be feeling all at the same time.
 
      She sat down and closed her eyes and concentrated, using the
techniques Darana had taught her.  Focus.  She needed to focus.
      After awhile, her breathing evened out and she calmed.  That was
better.  She stood up, ready to begin a bit of a physical workout to take
up her time.  However, it wasn't long before the thoughts began invading
her mind again.
      *Where is Darana?
      *Why had the Emperor not killed me?
      *Where is Michael?  I need him so much right now.
      *What's going to happen next?  What will the Emperor decide to do
with me?  I don't want to just end up stuck in some other household.  
      *I am a freak.  I don't belong anywhere.
      *Stop that!  Michael had me cured of that, why am I reverting?  
      *I need to know where the others are.  Can't the Emperor understand
that?  
      *I'm going to go crazy if the Emperor doesn't give me something to
do soon.*  
      She sat down again and began to focus again.  If I'm going to
survive this, I need to control my emotions.  I need to stop this
incessant mental babbling.  I need something to concentrate on.
      *Emotions are dangerous.  They get in your way.  Feel nothing. Live
only for the kill.*
      This would become her new mantra.  She would repeat it over and
over again until the Emperor called for her again.  It would help drive
all other thoughts from her mind.
      *Emotions are dangerous.  They get in your way.  Feel nothing.
 Live only for the kill.*
      She began repeating this over and over in her mind as she began a
series of physical exercises.  She found it easier to work out now.
      At least she would stay sane now.