A Night of Decisions…

By Ginna Wilcoxen and Debbie Silverberg

Octavia Syn Jinn sat under tree in the forest, since her return from Port 
Lansing she had kept her distance from the other students except for dinner 
and studies. She knew that sooner or later she would have to face Master 
Skywalker as well as the other Jedi Masters. 

Closing her eyes and leaning forward Octavia fought to get her emotions 
under control. This had to stop, she had talked to Rachel at Port Lansing as 
well as a few other Jedis and they had all told her that what she was going 
through was natural. She raised her feeling that she wasn't alone. Standing 
before her was the man from her dreams, Qui-Gon Jinn. 

"Octavia, do no be frightened." Qui-Gon said Octavia leaned back against 
the tree and stared at the ghostly image of her grandfather. "I've been 
observing your progress in your training as a Jedi." 

"Then you know how I've failed. I can't do this." 

Qui-Gon nodded as he continued. "Kirienne has filled me in on what 
happened to you and your great sadness in great detail. I know you have 
regret abut things you have done." Qui-Gon sat on a small tree that had 
fallen down. "I want you to know each and everyone at one point or another 
have said or done things which in hind sight, we deeply regret." 

There was something about his eyes that made Octavia believe he was 
telling the truth. "What do you know of failure? From what I've been told 
you were a great Jedi." 

Qui-Gon smiled as he leaned forward. "Each and everyone of us have made 
mistakes. I too have had to face mistakes I've made. Look into my eyes and 
see for yourself." 

Octavia looked into the ghostly eyes it seemed as if she was being drawn 
as if watching a play. She saw him standing in a room his hand on a small 
boy's shoulder "Then I shall train the boy!" Qui-Gon asked. 

"No." Yoda responds. "Much darkness in him I sense." 

The scene changed to one on a balcony and Qui-Gon was standing next to 
another man in robes. "I shall do what I must Obi-Wan." 

Octavia sat back and stared at the image of her grandfather. "You regret 
standing up for a small boy?" 

"That action has caused a lot of ripples Octavia but I want you to know 
I'm so very proud of you. I know you will succeed and become a fully trained 
Jedi. I have ultimate confidence in you and always will. Always remember 
that even in your darkest hour you are never alone. Others have walked the 
same path as you." 

"That's not very comforting. Don't the Jedi ever find peace?" 

Qui-Gon smiled and nodded standing to face his granddaughter. "There is 
opportunity to learn from any and all experiences, both good and bad. Life 
like training to become a Jedi is an ever-present learning experience. It 
molds us Octavia. Always remember as we grow and learn there are others 
simbient beings sharing the universe with us. Always remember you are never 
alone and the Force will always be with you. I am so very proud of you and 
love you with all my heart. If I were still apart of the living world as a 
living breathing being I would take you in my arms here and now and give you 
the biggest hug you can imagine. I was able to touch you at Port Lansing for 
such a brief instant." 

"I remember that, but I don't understand all of this." Octavia said 

"I'm with you in spirit. Reach out with your feelings and feel my love 
for you." Qui-Gon lifted his arms as if reaching out for her. Octavia felt 
herself being drawn closer to the ghostly vision relaxing her mind she began 
to feel warm and could feel invisible arms going about her, comforting and 
assuring her that she will do just fine. 

Octavia knew that somehow she would work through the feelings she was 
having and that this was a just a stepping stone on a challenging road of 
becoming a Jedi. The feelings were so overwhelming that she broke down and 
started to cry. Soon the feelings of peace, calm and assurance followed. 

She felt that somehow someway she would eventually achieve her goal and knew 
that there would be more difficult times ahead. 

"YOU will become a Jedi Octavia." Qui-Gon's tone was one of 
grandfatherly pride as he began to fade from view. "I love you and am very 
proud of you. Always remember you are never alone and the Force will always 
be your guide. Keep your focus on the here and now. May the Force be with 

Octavia watched in silence, as she was once again alone. "I will succeed 
… I will be a Jedi." She whispered to the empty air. 

Go To:
Cantina Archives
Members Only Main Page
What's New Page