"We continue forward," Luke answered. "But to do so, we need to leave the past behind." He smiled kindly at her. Octavia fell silent, thinking on Luke's words. "And to be honest about what we feel," she replied. "I don't want to fail." Luke nodded as they settled down to have a bit of breakfast. Then, giving Octavia the coordinates to put into the speeder, they took off. "These coordinates are different. We're not going back to the farm?" "No, we don't need to stay there any longer. Things seem quiet in the Force in relation to us and those people in the cafe. Nonethelessâ^Ŕ¦" Luke used the macrobinoculars occasionally to scan the horizons as they zipped along over the sands of Tatooine's vast desert. "So this is the way to Ben's, your master's place?" "Yes." Luke replied. To Octavia he seemed a little bit withdrawn. "Master Skywalker, you seem quiet, is anything wrong?" Octavia's tone took on a serious note. "I was just wondering why you decided to go out last night," he said. Octavia stared at the sand that laid out before them. "I...I felt closed in...and the dreams ....I had to get out to get away. I walked around but after a while even that seemed to closing around me." Luke was silent for many long moments. "Dreams," he murmured. "We need to deal with those dreams and help you distinguish them from reality. We will do that this afternoon, right after we get to Ben's." "Is there a way to do that...I mean to be totally sure?" Octavia questioned not knowing how to take his suggestion. "Yes, we can help you distinguish them from one another. But it will take some concerted effort." Luke mused for a few seconds more, touching his lips with the back of his hand. "I will try...I still remember the arena like it was yesterday, maybe because I relived it so much." For once Luke resisted the compulsion to repeat what Yoda had said to him during his own training on Dagobah so many years ago. He blinked ahead of himself, not seeing the desert landscape for a few moments. "Yes. I understand that. So do I." "Youâ^Ŕ¦sound...your voice has regret." "My circumstances with the opponent I fought against was most...challenging for me. It shook the very foundations of what I believe in as a Jedi Master." Luke stared straight ahead, not looking at her. "I'm sorry for you. That must be difficult for you to come to terms with " Octavia stated her voice soft and non-judgmental. To Octavia's surprise, Luke answered quickly, "Yes, it was. I had been forced to kill, and my opponent literally threw herself on my sword. I am not sure I can ever forget it. No one has been able to capture and control me as Jedi like that since I became a Master. No one nor any situation." Octavia nodded in understanding. "I am sorry for you Master Skywalker, I know how I feel and the feelings you are experiencing must be worse." "No," he answered gently, "Not worse. Your feelings are as important as anyone else's. Don't minimize them. What you need to be able to do is to put them into some sort of perspective instead of just feeling them. You can make your feelings go to work for you, not against you. That is what I am working towards for myself in my own feelings and memories of that event." "I thought I had until Palpatine." Octavia answered firmly. "If nothing else she made me realize just how close I hold my first kill to heart, and how protected I was with the Electra." "What we both experienced is as close to a senseless killings as imaginable. My greatest regret is that I did not come to a solution and an escape sooner for us all." Luke helped her correct the coordinates, as they had been drifting off course due to the heavy conversation. "If you can possibly do it, begin to forget the Palpatine's. And think on the Force. I know that sounds like a strange thing to do, but focus is what we both need." "Then we will help each other Master." Octavia answered trying to forget the Emperor and Raven's own statements that she wanted to learn the light side of the Force, then there was Medenna...how was she doing back on Yavin? "You are the one distracted now," Luke observed when Octavia didn't answer. Luke continued. "If I may admonish you for the time being to focus on the here and now, I would like to do so." "Of course, I should stay focused." Octavia smiled. It was that exact thought that kept her from going crazy while in the VR tanks. Luke smiled kindly at her in return, but remained silent. "What is Ben's place like?" Octavia questioned at last not liking the silence for some reason. "Lonely. Small. Perfect to serve our purposes." "Out of the way and away from everything." Octavia mused "Mostly, at a place where you can fight your demons and have time to finish them off." Luke looked at her, wondering what her response would be. "IF it was that easy." Octavia replied staring out ahead at the never-ending horizon of sand. She wondered if she even knew what her demons were anymore. How did you fight something that wasn't real and just in your mind? "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for..." "Stating your opinions of your own personal situation is your prerogative, my friend. Nothing to apologize for. And anything is possible with the Force as your ally." "Yes, I have to remember that." A little later, Luke pointed out the rise before Ben's place. They pulled in and shut down the speeder. There was only a small shelter in which to store it. "It is small." Octavia commented softly looking at the place. It didn't look like a home of Jedi, let alone a Master. Luke stood for a moment and then hiked back up to the rise to peer through his macrobinoculars. Octavia watched him, then glanced around the place. It felt different than Luke's homestead; there was a strange sense of peace here. Turning, she walked toward Luke. "Were we followed?" Shuffling back down again over the dune, Luke put away his macros and gestured toward the domed house. "No, there is nothing in sight. I would like for you to take a moment and judge for your self though the Force before we go inside." Octavia looked out over the never-ending sea of sand and relaxed, letting the Force envelop her as she sensed their surroundings. "Nothing but us...there are some Sandpeople in the distance, but they aren't heading this way." "Good," he said, starting toward the house. "Come on, let's see about the vaporator first." It was in need of repair and adjusting. They worked in silence, paying attention to the task at hand. Finally,, when they were done, Octavia questioned, dusting the sand off her hands, "When was the last time you were here?" Luke took in a deep breath and let it out. He opened the lock and entered first. "Many years ago. When I made my light saber." "Was it difficult to do...make the saber, I mean?" He looked around and then palmed the generator. When it did not function, he shook his head. "It's funny how once it is time for you to make your own saber, you know just what to do and what parts you need. Especially after caring for and using the first borrowed or gifted one." Luke looked around in a low cupboard and found a fat old candle. The interior was dark and had no windows. Octavia stared into the darkness and thought back to how many times she had come close to losing the saber she now possessed. There would come a time to leave it behind, she knew, but for now it was hers. "The generator needs to be looked at. If it's been a while it could need new parts." "That's all right," Luke replied, "I'd like a chance at using some primitive lighting for a change of pace." He reached into his pouch and produced a sparking device to light the candle. "We can work on it in the morning." "All right, you know what is best," Octavia agreed, enjoying the light from the candle. It seemed to fit the dwelling. "For now I was hoping to get right into teaching you how to tell the dreams apart from memories or reality. Then we can make supper." Octavia became a little uneasy at that suggestion, but pushed any negative thoughts away. "Sounds like a place to start." TBC
Go To:
Cantina Archives
Members Only Main Page
What's New Page