Put the Past Behind II: Tatooine part 2

Season Irwin and Ginna Wilcoxen

"We continue forward," Luke answered. "But to do so, we need to leave the
past behind." He smiled kindly at her.
Octavia fell silent, thinking on Luke's words. "And to be honest about
what we feel," she replied. "I don't want to fail."

Luke nodded as they settled down to have a bit of breakfast.  Then,
giving Octavia the coordinates to put into the speeder, they took off.

"These coordinates are different.  We're not going back to the farm?"

"No, we don't need to stay there any longer. Things seem quiet in the
Force in relation to us and those people in the cafe. Nonethelessâ^Ŕ¦"
 Luke used the macrobinoculars occasionally to scan the horizons as they
zipped along over the sands of Tatooine's vast desert.

"So this is the way to Ben's, your master's place?"

"Yes." Luke replied. To Octavia he seemed a little bit withdrawn.

"Master Skywalker, you seem quiet, is anything wrong?" Octavia's tone
took on a serious note.
"I was just wondering why you decided to go out last night," he said.

Octavia stared at the sand that laid out before them. "I...I felt closed
in...and the dreams ....I had to get out to get away. I walked around but
after a while even that seemed to closing around me."

Luke was silent for many long moments. "Dreams," he murmured. "We need to
deal with those dreams and help you distinguish them from reality.  We
will do that this afternoon, right after we get to Ben's."

"Is there a way to do that...I mean to be totally sure?" Octavia
questioned not knowing how to take his suggestion.

"Yes, we can help you distinguish them from one another. But it will take
some concerted effort." Luke mused for a few seconds more, touching his
lips with the back of his hand.

"I will try...I still remember the arena like it was yesterday, maybe
because I relived it so much."

For once Luke resisted the compulsion to repeat what Yoda had said to him
during his own training on Dagobah so many years ago.  He blinked ahead
of himself, not seeing the desert landscape for a few moments. "Yes. I
understand that. So do I."

"Youâ^Ŕ¦sound...your voice has regret."

"My circumstances with the opponent I fought against was
most...challenging for me. It shook the very foundations of what I
believe in as a Jedi Master." Luke stared straight ahead, not looking at

"I'm sorry for you. That must be difficult for you to come to terms with
" Octavia stated her voice soft and non-judgmental.

To Octavia's surprise, Luke answered quickly, "Yes, it was. I had been
forced to kill, and my opponent literally threw herself on my sword. I am
not sure I can ever forget it. No one has been able to capture and
control me as Jedi like that since I became a Master.  No one nor any

Octavia nodded in understanding. "I am sorry for you Master Skywalker, I
know how I feel and the feelings you are experiencing must be worse."

"No," he answered gently, "Not worse. Your feelings are as important as
anyone else's. Don't minimize them. What you need to be able to do is to
put them into some sort of perspective instead of just feeling them. You
can make your feelings go to work for you, not against you. That is what
I am working towards for myself in my own feelings and memories of that

"I thought I had until Palpatine." Octavia answered firmly. "If nothing
else she made me realize just how close I hold my first kill to heart,
and how protected I was with the Electra."

"What we both experienced is as close to a senseless killings as
imaginable. My greatest regret is that I did not come to a solution and
an escape sooner for us all." Luke helped her correct the coordinates, as
they had been drifting off course due to the heavy conversation. "If you
can possibly do it, begin to forget the Palpatine's. And think on the
Force. I know that sounds like a strange thing to do, but focus is what
we both need."

"Then we will help each other Master." Octavia answered trying to forget
the Emperor and Raven's own statements that she wanted to learn the light
side of the Force, then there was Medenna...how was she doing back on

"You are the one distracted now," Luke observed when Octavia didn't
answer. Luke continued. "If I may admonish you for the time being to
focus on the here and now, I would like to do so."

"Of course, I should stay focused." Octavia smiled. It was that exact
thought that kept her from going crazy while in the VR tanks.

Luke smiled kindly at her in return, but remained silent.

"What is Ben's place like?" Octavia questioned at last not liking the
silence for some reason.

"Lonely. Small. Perfect to serve our purposes."

"Out of the way and away from everything." Octavia mused

"Mostly, at a place where you can fight your demons and have time to
finish them off." Luke looked at her, wondering what her response would

"IF it was that easy." Octavia replied staring out ahead at the
never-ending horizon of sand. She wondered if she even knew what her
demons were anymore. How did you fight something that wasn't real and
just in your mind? "I'm sorry, that was uncalled for..."

"Stating your opinions of your own personal situation is your
prerogative, my friend. Nothing to apologize for.  And anything is
possible with the Force as your ally."

"Yes, I have to remember that."

A little later, Luke pointed out the rise before Ben's place. They pulled
in and shut down the speeder. There was only a small shelter in which to
store it.

"It is small." Octavia commented softly looking at the place.  It didn't
look like a home of Jedi, let alone a Master.

Luke stood for a moment and then hiked back up to the rise to peer
through his macrobinoculars. Octavia watched him, then glanced around the
place. It felt different than Luke's homestead; there was a strange sense
of peace here. Turning, she walked toward Luke. "Were we followed?"

Shuffling back down again over the dune, Luke put away his macros and
gestured toward the domed house. "No, there is nothing in sight. I would
like for you to take a moment and judge for your self though the Force
before we go inside."

Octavia looked out over the never-ending sea of sand and relaxed, letting
the Force envelop her as she sensed their surroundings. "Nothing but
us...there are some Sandpeople in the distance, but they aren't heading
this way."

"Good," he said, starting toward the house. "Come on, let's see about the
vaporator first."

It was in need of repair and adjusting. They worked in silence, paying
attention to the task at hand.
Finally,, when they were done, Octavia questioned, dusting the sand off
her hands, "When was the last time you were here?"
Luke took in a deep breath and let it out. He opened the lock and entered
first. "Many years ago. When I made my light saber."

"Was it difficult to do...make the saber, I mean?"

He looked around and then palmed the generator. When it did not function,
he shook his head. "It's funny how once it is time for you to make your
own saber, you know just what to do and what parts you need. Especially
after caring for and using the first borrowed or gifted one." Luke looked
around in a low cupboard and found a fat old candle. The interior was
dark and had no windows.

Octavia stared into the darkness and thought back to how many times she
had come close to losing the saber she now possessed. There would come a
time to leave it behind, she knew, but for now it was hers. "The
generator needs to be looked at.  If it's been a while it could need new

"That's all right," Luke replied, "I'd like a chance at using some
primitive lighting for a change of pace." He reached into his pouch and
produced a sparking device to light the candle. "We can work on it in the

"All right, you know what is best," Octavia agreed, enjoying the light
from the candle. It seemed to fit the dwelling.

"For now I was hoping to get right into teaching you how to tell the
dreams apart from memories or reality. Then we can make supper."

Octavia became a little uneasy at that suggestion, but pushed any
negative thoughts away. "Sounds like a place to start."


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