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and Tony DiTerlizzi |
What? Oh, visitors. Have you come to beat me, and prove just how pointless my feeble existance is? No?
Why not?
Perhaps if I introduce myself, you would like to hit me then. I am Gauntwing the Pale, Mephit of the Night,
Keeper of Blackest Secrets, Purveyor of the Cloud of Death, Slayer of the Great Horned Evil, Oldest of all
Dust Mephits and Solemn Bearer of the Remains of Chakan the Decay Knight. I also have the priviledge
of being the favorite whipping mephit of a group of great hereos known as The Company of the Five Factions.
Perhaps you know them as The Fivers.
You're still here? Why must you intrude upon my tortured existance? Can it be that you really want to learn
about my great and powerful masters? They would be very angry with me and beat me terribly if they knew I told
you all of their darkest secrets.
Where do you want to begin?
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Yes, it's Ken again. I see you've already met with our resident Dust Mephit. He tries to cut quite the tragic
figure, doesn't he? But regardless of his "Dust I am lest Dust I become" attitude, let's quickly explain
why he's here...
This series of pages is set aside for the purpose of giving the general public an idea of the twisted geniuses I
have for players. I have a small section on each of the player characters that have appeared in my campaign to
date. In addition to pages on the active characters, I also have some pages for characters that have been retired
from play (either due to the player's departure or the character's death). Plus, you'll find some pages on some
prominient NPC henchmen - Gauntwing among them.
You might notice a distinct lack of obvious nobility and other "truly heroic" qualities in these characters. This
is because I am running a bit more of a gritty and 'lower-class' campaign than usual. As such, the 'heroes'
are merely people with the spark of potential and were in the right place at the right time. Otherwise,
they have no pretensions or illusions of being heroes worthy of the bards. But then, Fate can be cruel
sometimes.
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Ah, yes. Fate is a very cruel mistress. I know. She has cursed me terribly with this feeble - *OW!*
Oh, yes, hit me again. It merely proves my point of the uselessness of Life. *OW* - oh, thank you. Now, let
me tell you about The Fivers.
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Even though she is a tiefling, the lovely Lilah has been so kind to me. I think she's only hit me once. But then,
she normally has Killraven hit me for her. I don't see the point, but the other Indeps view her as some kind of
mythic hero called "The Tail". But I have to be nice to her; if I'm not, she'll either cast a spell on me or else
stab me in the back. Either way is so terribly painful.
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Ah, the mighty Killraven. He is so very strong and mean, like his homeworld of Athas. Even though he can use
any weapon with ease, he's only used me to practice with his fists. They are quite big and he hits me very hard.
But I don't really mind. I'm sure that deep down, he despises me no more than anyone else in the Fivers.
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The mystic Valas is so very confusing to my poor, feeble brain. He is an Athar, yet he seems to worship Magic
itself - a Great Unknown. But even with his priestly powers, he can still toss fireballs like no body's business.
And even stranger, he is very hot to the touch. He says it is because Lolth made him that way. But he also says
that Lolth wants to kill him. I try to comfort him by telling him that this shows how useless being alive really
is, but he just ignores me. I like Valas.
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Oh, Rogan is my great, wise, and generous Master. He beats me constantly and gives me hundreds of dreary, useless
tasks to perform. He can even be kind and rewards me by letting me lick the dust off his shoes. But then, being a
Fated, he makes me do more pointless chores. Someday, I hope to be a good enough lackey that he lets work in part
of his business which is a vast, trading empire. Oh yes, if you really want to know just how tortured and tragic my
life is, you can sit and listen to me tell you about myself. You can even hit me, if you'd like.
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Ponk and I are kindred souls in the vast tragedy of Life. He claims to be a simple Gear Spirit fleeing the confines
of Mechanus. But, if that is so, why did he first appear as a servant to Chakan, like I serve Rogan, eh? Why
does he hide his form inside of various metal objects? It is because he is ashamed to exist; just like me. Combined
with the fact that he doesn't even talk to me, I know that he is really a Mineral Mephit. It must be so.
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I do not know much about this one, save that he just doesn't get it. He is so pathetically deluded, and probably
insane. Why else would someone revere Life so much? He even respects me! How silly is that? And his servant...
How does such a Clueless warrior like him get the services of such a lovely creature as that sprite? Perhaps, once
she stops hiding from me, I will take her out to dinner.
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This man is another new one to the Fivers. He is just as barmy as Jarvis. He says he is a Shaman and has been
sent to follow the mighty Killraven because of some dream he had. Dreams are merely the foggy cries for help of
the soul. It is through dreams that the soul tells of its despair of being alive. Perhaps I will try and tell
him this, once he gets through chanting.
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Now, Chakan, he truly understands things. He was a member of Doomguard, at least until he realized the full
futility of Life and let Entropy catch up with him. After he died, Rogan allowed me to take his dusty remains
into myself and scatter them all over the vast city of Sigil. What a great honor my master gave me. Even though
it is pointless to remember his life, I can tell you many things about this tortured, psionic knight.
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I met this dwarf only briefly after my master returned from a visit to Chakan's homeworld. He used me for
target practice with his blowgun. Very intense, this one was. I think he wanted to try and Map the entire
Multiverse. If he let me speak to him, I could have told him that this was a pointless task. But, at least
he is very amibitious in his pointlessness.
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This young elf was even more confusing than Valas. I think she realized the futility of Life, but she went about
it all wrong. Rather than try to end her own Life, she keep stealing those of others in an attempt to find one
that fit. She would be a thief one day, a fighter the next, and then a priestess. Very, very chaotic. I suppose
that's why she wore that Xaositect symbol. But, somehow that always seem to ring false with me.
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